Write Your Own Story
As I continue to immerse myself in the world of communication, influence, advertising and branding I am ever so aware of the increasing need to get attention in a world crowded with so much noise. So yes indeed this is another click bait title!
A week ago, I was at the celebration of life for one who subconsciously taught me three things that make me who I am today - discipline, dependability, doing the right thing.
Senior Counsel Ken Alison Fraser was my (real) first employer at the firm of Hamilton Harrison & Mathews. He was also my mothers boss, so she was the hook up for a very young 19 year old’s first stab at being employed and earning a princely salary of Kshs 1,500.
I loved and still love legal shows like “Law & Order”, “The Practice”, “Ally McBeal” and the more recent “Suits” .
I loved all that power dressing in dark, well pressed and fitted suits, the way arguments were presented as a story, the digging of facts to craft that story.. The zingers were always in the power of the closing arguments. Love it, love it and until today legal shows still my all time favorite.
For years I would like to use the expression “I put it to you..” It would make me sound so accomplished! Anyway, all that romance was soon killed when I visited the Nairobi Law courts. Yes, everyone dressed up, but there ended the parallels. The corridors and benches were full of people huddling, pushing and many never having acknowledged the need to use a deodorant, on the assumption soap and water suffice. Then the Magistrates or Judges with that Biro pen! Until today I struggle to write with a Biro pen something having unchecked at that time, I don’t know what.
So life and lessons.
My first employment or rather internship was before I went to university so I really had no experience. As I had done a crash course in ‘Secretarial’ work as it was then called, I had some skills when I showed up. Those included typing and the first code language called Shorthand. So I could be useful. Those uses were put to test tidying up piles of dusty files and carting them to the office of KF as Ken Fraser was fondly(?) called. My efficiency and reliability had me graduate to work for one of the young advocates as her secretary, Then she fell ill, and the true learning began. KF taught me the principles of drafting Plaints and Defenses, to infill the vacancy. I would go to his office and he would dictate in clipped perfect english and because I had ostensibly learnt “shorthand” I was able to keep up. After a while whether I got it all or not, I understood the logical pattern, the language. So whether I could read my shorthand or not, I could reproduce it and have all the drafts turned back to KF to review and confirm all was in order. After a while I could do it all on my own, and just present them for his review and perfecting. I will say KF for many years after I went to university, never stopped being remorseful that I went on to do a lower grade degree in his eyes called Commerce, and not the noble profession of Law.
But that Biro image had killed the romance (smile). That time also made me realize my curious, sometimes wildly imaginative and often scattered mind was going to be too confined as a learned friend.
I still went back to HH&M every university vacation by the way, and he made me know I was always welcome.
So of the three things I learnt. The Discipline of always being thorough, following through, and writing properly. I still gasp when I see formal communication with sentences that start with “Am writing..”
The Dependability. When he told a client he would have a response the next day, it would be there. Many of his clients knew once a matter was in KF’s hands, it was in incredibly safe and good hands. A couple of days before he passed on, in his hospital bed, I heard tributes that said he was still keeping clients appraised. If there is something that will keep me rolling and writhing at night is knowing I owe someone something- a response, a call back. I am forever embarrassed meeting or talking to someone who I owe a response to (grimace). Or if I commit to be someplace, I will move mountains to be there, sometimes to my detriment as I wind up being frayed and frazzled!
Finally, he believed in doing the right thing. If a case was strong, he said it. If it wasn’t he also said it. KF never believed in talking money until he proved its worth, this shared severally in tribute after tribute. Now imagine if in this world we live in, everyone believed they have to give value for every shilling earned?
One other thing, was he always smiley and nice, no. What he was was tough and fair. You knew where you stood at any time. And he hated attention by the way, so this post and blog will probably make him squirm in his resting place!
Do I regret not having staying in touch, yes. So it was such a blessing to visit HH&M earlier this year and meet him again after so many years. He was very happy for us to take a selfie in honor of my new profession!
Tribute after tribute spoke of these qualities on Saturday 15th July at the Langata Cemetery in Nairobi.
There was no need for those Programs with a Eulogy broken into sections with headlines such as “Early Years”, “Work Life” or “Family”.
Life is a continuum. Everything eventually comes full circle. No one should be scrambling to piece together a semblance of who you were in a few paragraphs called a Eulogy. Let your life story be known through how you lived, who you were and those you touched.
This last month I’ve attended a couple of autobiography launches. I couldn’t help thinking of the lessons I’ve learnt in life and what discipline it would take to publish them in some form.
So my reflection, tell the story of your life while you still have life. If you can, actually pen it down what I hope “Chips” with all its relevance, irrelevance and irreverence is doing for me.
Indeed, write your own story.
